Black Diary

I’ve felt it for days

a pinch in my heart that stays.

a speck of darkness which grows

under the sun it even glows!

An unknown feeling of loss

a loosing battle of toss…

heads, i lay with monsters in my dreams

Tails, echoes of my muffled screams

the sheets are dripping with sleepless nights

endless debates and pointless fights

looking for answers and finding none

Questions aren’t many but just one

If all that’s in me is left untouched,

will i remain myself as much

A fight with destiny and her stars

It’s not the right time, they say, playing with Saturn and mars.

Lost on the streets of my palm lines

Fading away with tarot lies

The same text i scribble in daily

calling out to my Dear Black Dairy

Aching hard, I am fate’s bait

Running in circles, trying to change my fate

Should you ever meet her on the cross roads

Tell her i wait on the checkered board.

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Under the string lights

 

 

In the dim light of the string lights

Under the cold winter night

Within the soft folds of the blanket

Over the waves of her ecstasy

Running wild with the thought of that smile

Right before the thrust of that kiss

Catching every fleeting breath

Escaping the rims of the scarlet bites

Caught between his hold and a dark place

Refusing to let go of her insanity

Rummaging through endless counts of deepest of kisses

With leftovers of her taste

Oh how fine her soul looked

Dripping down his lips

Oceans of her wait

Trickling under his call

The tides of her screaming moans

Pulling at his shores

Breaking through every wall in him

Drying him of every thirst……over and over and over again

 

She was

She was madness filled in tinted bottles

Fragrance locked in a bracelet

Petals captured between the pages of tragedy 

A lost song entangled upon his papercut fingers

A taste of sweet that never touched his lips

She was the shatter of silent raindrops 

A siren call of eclipsing moons

Wrinkles on a bed still dreaming

Dripping ink from a parched notebook

She was his dream, dressed as her own nightmare 

Cravings

Ive craved the decadence of tipsy words

Of whispered tales upon sensitive skin

Of goosebumps raised from static touch

Of melting sighs on caramel poems

Of confessions among breaking rains

Of old world charms in new age frames

Of fragrant romances from old hollywood

Of electric sex from erotic books

Ive craved for your name melting in mine

Of shattering moons sold by the dime

Ive craved for you from god knows when

A thirst unquenched till we meet again

Glass doll

Keep those hands on my cool skin

Let it warm up and burn under your heat 

Hold me tight against your chest

Capturing every escaping beat

Weave in your fingers into my scalp

And trace my neck with salty kisses

I cant hold on anymore i need help

Shatter me into pieces, only a glass doll

Let me scatter upon this night 

Lick the trails of lust , down my chest which rolls

Paint on me any color of your choosing 

Let me taste a piece of you

On the verge of sanity. … im loosing 

The hold i guess which i never had

Untill then

Its Very late

I count the date

Something sinks

A grey within the pinks

Its the day

How do i say

This hour when we first met

Something off it sets

This time that year

When you and i were near

A sense of bliss 

In that first awkward kiss

When i had hopes still

The day which today kills

It happend so very organic

And how it induces panic

Once this day love in me awoke

Today rides upon a cloud of smoke

I see every memory vaporize

Puff after puff, still i recognise 

In scrips and stories i read once

Prove to be myths and fake and so i say hence

It’ll  be good for my soul to turn of the lights

And hide under the blanket till comes the night

When all will be well

In your name my heart wont swell

Till i find my own little place

Where there wont be another haze

Where my horizons shall finally meet

Until my soul comes back and greets

Tipsy rambles

​

He didn’t hold me from behind 

Or laid kisses on my spine

Neither was it a tug

Stripped on the rug

It wasnt a warm fireplace

Nor before it did passion race
It was the hidden sign

Of shy lust and tipsy wine

It was wicked candlelit stars

And confessions of favourite movies and chocolate bars

It was glittering eyes and runny noses

A love for lilies and not roses
Tween crackling conversations And burning want

Holding onto slipping reservations and cosy qualms

I thought i did

I found my missing piece  that someone  once hid

HAVE YOU TOO…

​That brief moment of absolute silence

Right before the trembling music hits you

The tiny skip of breath 

Before your heart pumps once more time

That fleeting moment of scare

Just before your eyes seek out your loved ones in the crowd 

That absolute second of realization before an eternity of ignorance 

Have you felt it ever

Touched that single moment with your being

Realized the knock of every locked up feeling 

Just before the wall cracks and white noise seeps through

Between conversations and discussions 

Documents and deadlines

Meetings and mails

Typing and talking

Have you ever felt even more broken than you already are

And yet built up stronger than you ever were before today
Have you too…..

White…

​it dropped

one followed by the other

turning white at her touch

leaving behind the cage of the orange flame

free to run free, gliding down her chest

resting over scarlet skin underneath 

the waxy seal of forbidden love

hanging by a thread and two chains

the faint sheen of want

begging for more yet silent from words

“Where?” his question , more than but a whisper

Fingers guiding his gaze to the ache tween… “there…”

Crumbling every text book rule

Washing away all the norm they had told

away from the eyes of the raiding world

kneeling before her dark fairytale

finally free to kiss her submission

Echoes

When voices fall flat while the music still plays

And loneliness holds your hand but the crowd still stays

While the clock ticks away And the time never leaves

Whiles you are wide awake and the dreams still heave

The glass now empty yet brimming with wine

And you still on my skin but never to be mine

The lies still pretty and the promises ripe

I dont think i am ready to let your memory wipe