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Most people are good at something or the other…. well not most but all of us have some or the other trait or quality that makes us different from the rest of the gazzilion people inhabiting mother earth. Some sing, some have amazing dance moves….some are orators and while the others are amazing leaders. We have a major list of abilities to chose from – politician, writer, poet, artist, ….from cracking knuckles as an expertise to body stretching. Abilities go from fun to freaky and awesome to ah-some.

So here I was… wondering to myself what do I have… what is it that makes me different from the other mortals. And you know what I found…NOTHING…ZILCH… no special abilities/traits which I can be proud of or which I can flaunt as a shining badge on my coat… a feather in my cap if you must say. I was crushed… disappointed a lot (trying not to overreact…).

All my life spent, all this time to myself and I have nothing which makes me “ME”. Anyone would be disappointed in the worthlessness of the scenario.

So my portfolio so far goes something like this:

  • Vital stats: pretty vital to share on internet
  • Appearance: can freak out at least 10 people simultaneously!
  • Relationship status: single (…for like forever)
  • Skills: unique ability to do nothing and possess no skills yet known to mankind.

Pretty impressive!!

As far as my mind can take me, I have always been this mixture of introvert and extrovert qualities. A very ordinary trait to find, I think… anywho. I’ve always have been a patient listener to all the woes of my friends in despair. Always there to help others in despair, yet mute when it came to me.  Now if I was patient or was the victim of being made the patient, is your choice of perspective. Moving on…. I’ve always been on the commanding and authoritative side of the table when it came to “Dusro ka problem solving”..Well mostly…

Determined to be the epicenter of all the practical, sane and genuinely heartfelt advice. When you hold such an important position in the society, that of giving advice, you expose yourself to threats,….. and I don’t mean rejection of advise or “oh shut up” comment kind of threat, but rather “I am gonna fucking kill you and drink your blood for the shitty advise you are trying to put through my nose right now!!!” kind of threat. Yeah!! I know.. tough job. Anyways as my brain came finally out of the comma which was induced upon it due to the never-ending “agony auntying”,

I so realized that I don’t have just another ability but rather I have a GIFT.

Yes! A gift, a unique ability…… ability to become the “LOVE GURU” for almost the entire half of the world.

Let me explain how before any one of the poor readers slip into a stroke. Well one fine day,(basically today) I was chatting with yet another so called friend, a person I barely know and who can practically bore me to death and should be put behind the bars for deliberately opening her mouth in public. So here I was talking to her, bearing another one of her agonies about how she is facing problems in her love life and is unable to cope up with her “needs” of keeping a constant tab on her boyfriend and failure to make him realize the depths of her love for him. Scary and puckish as it may sound I was forcefully exposed to the dilemma of not blurting out what I actually thought of her control freakery and was supposed to give her some meaningful advice. And to my surprise I actually did. The day after as I sat tic – tacking on my lappy I heard a ping on my IM and there she was… AGAIN!!…. I dreaded the thought of yet again being victimized to her torture… with all my might and culminating all the god forsaken quotes on friendship I’ve read and appreciated over the years I answered. After a brief chit chat and beating around the bush she finally decided to come to the point and even I was amazed at what she had to reveal.

To my surprise the advice which I gave her as a weapon for me to escape her grip rather than for her to use, was actually bearing fruit and this “boyfriend” in question was actually coming around.

And there I was, staring right in the eye of my GIFT. I’ve never been in an infatuation, let alone love….no standing (or sitting for that matter), dead or alive boyfriend &/or lover EVER…. And yet I know and understand others with their turmoil’s and troubles with relationships and the frills which come along. I was actually in full grip of my “agony aunt” psyche and have practically helped another person with a living and real relationship problem. Now that I think of it, this is not the first time it has happened, it has been happening since all the females in and around my age group have understood the concept of “boyfriend and affairs” and have mercilessly glorified it. I somehow remain at the same threshold like an old house standing in the middle of a multi-specialty township construction site.

I think you get the point.

So now what, what is the next plan of action of my brain who has slipped into yet another comma after the fact realization drill.

You must be thinking by now that yeah this chick has this weird hobby she calls her “gift” and that this time she has completely lost it with her writing thing…

You know what I just realized again about myself….

“FOREVER ALONE”

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